Tuesday, February 24, 2009

A night owl with nothing to hoot about...

Well Mr. Diary, it's 11:15 pm, and I can't sleep. Stress... I hate the word, and it seems like that is what is consuming my life. Every day, I wake up thinking about it. Don't get me wrong... I have an amazing family, great friends, I'm in school, and we have a roof over our head (for now), so, I have plenty to be thankful for, but I feel like I'm on a sinking ship with my eyes wide open! I see it happening all around me and there's not anything I can do to stop it. For the next 3 months we have exactly $703 left after paying our bills for food, gas, and any other emergency that we all know will come up if Michael doesn't get a job. $703!!!!! When I figured up our budget I just couldn't believe it! I don't even have health insurance anymore. What lesson am I supposed to be learning?!! Please God just spell it out for me... I'm much better with words than visuals. Please don't make us learn it the hard way. We go to church faithfully, we make our tithing, we're involved, we pray, we eat dinner as a family, we don't lie, cheat, or steal... please God. Let us catch a break. This burden is causing so much strain on my marriage... tonight when we got into bed (before I decided I couldn't sleep) we just rolled over to face opposite ways and went to sleep. No words and no good night kiss. My heart is breaking, and I don't know how to fix it. I'll continue my prayers, and as hard as it is, and as weak as I am sometimes, I will keep faith.

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there Toni. We have been there too and I know how difficult it is and how it can put a big strain on your marriage.

    Just keep praying!

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